| Friday, July 07, 2006 |
| Nuninuninuninu… |
I got home last night at about 12.50 in the morning. I've been going home like that the whole week straight. I'm hoping today's the day I can go home at 5pm. It’s an hour early than our designated 'uwian' time but what the heck, I more than deserve it. The hours I worked this week - total 44 hours - is already equivalent to 5 and a half days' work. But note that I'm only counting Monday to Thursday. Add the 8 hours I'm planning to put in today, plus MAYBE 4-8 hours tomorrow. I would have been a millionaire from all the overtime pay. IF we had overtime pay, that is.
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I hardly see anyone at home now, except for the person who opens the gate for me when I come home. Everyone else is already sleeping when I get home, and in the morning, I'm either too early for them or I missed them and they've already gone off to school or work.
At home, I've given up trying to justify to my siblings what makes me come home this late everyday TWO MONTHS OR MORE before an event. Which is why going home to no one is a comfort to me somehow. I so don't want to hear anymore sermons. I just need to work, work, work. At work, I've given up resenting the fact that I'm the only cubao-er in our office who goes home this late, alone. All the other cubao-ers leave long before I do. They've stopped asking me what time I'm going home for the day, especially *toot*, who's always been my 'uwian' partner. Mejo tampo ako, pero ok lang. Pana-panahon lang talaga.
*sigh* 44 days to go, and I'll see the fruits of my labor. 56 days to go and I'll be free, temporarily. First hurdle pa lang kasi ito. But I'll have my revenge rin mwahahah! I'll make the freakin most out of Singapore as I can =D after this, we have another event in late September in Manila so alipin na naman ako. Then a third and/or fourth event in Kuala Lumpur come November. Astig rin yun pag natuloy e, halos 1 month yung ibang staff *daw* sa KL. Sana makasama ako para ayos! =) Pero definitely by December or January laya na talaga ako ^_^
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Yesterday, I was supposed to meet this guy who said he was suffering from insomnia AND narcolepsy AND Cardiomyopathy. I didn’t know whether I should believe him or not but gullible person that I am, I kinda believed him… *sheepish smile* (O sige, aamin na ako, hindi ko kasi alam kung ano ang narcolepsy at first, pero alam ko na ngayon, and sabi ng friends ko imposible daw maging insomniac at the same time narcoleptic ang isang tao.)
My friends say na mashado daw akong gullible. I always believe what people tell me, except of course, pag obvious na biro or lantaran namang panloloko, or if time and again e, a person fails me, in which case, I develop an impression already. Pero in my defense naman, why would I think kasi that a person will not tell me the truth? Ewan ko lang, di ko pa rin madiscern ang tamang mix ng believing in a person’s goodness and truthfulness and protecting myself from possible panloloko.
Anyway, hindi naman natuloy ang meeting kasi hindi firm yung usapan namin. Basta ganon, life goes on. But I doubt that I’ll want to meet up with him anymore after yesterday. Mejo malabo kausap e. I just hope everything’s all right with him, and he’s not as sick, depressed and lost as he sounds.
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We were supposed to go to a place I consider special to me - Padi's Point in Antipolo. I've only been there on two occasions - and these have been two of the best days of my life. I pass by this special place everyday and I've always wanted to go back there, even if I had to go back alone. (Which I did already on my second visit there.)
Padi’s overlooks Metro Manila and even gives the viewer a glimpse of areas as far as Manila Bay. I like it especially on evenings, kasi during the day, minsan nakakadepress ang overlooking view sa antips e - you see all the buildings and patched up houses and the smog and all the kaguluhan. Anyway, at night, I can really appreciate the view. Masarap kasi ang feeling that I am like observing the world as if I am unattached to it. I see thousands of minute twinkling city lights, and I know that something that looks so deceptively peaceful and quiet is actually bustling with activity. It’s like seeing a mini-universe, or seeing the stars on earth.
It is with this sense of detachment and timelessness that I can hear my mind clearly, and express my love freely as I did on the two occasions I’ve been there. The view from Padi's gives me all the space I need, which spans for as far as my eyes can see. At Padi's I feel so unbound, as if I can extend my arms and embrace the sleeping city... and ultimately opkors, my love. Padi's makes me feel as if I can love for an eternity. Padi’s kinda makes me feel immortal.
Anyway, I said I wanted to go back there to be at peace with myself again. But here I was, about to bring a stranger to my special place. I guess it’s simply because much as I needed the peace, I also needed the company. Because to me, such peace is useless, unless I have someone to share it with. Or maybe I feel lost looking at my version of eternity the way I do, that I need someone to hold me or catch me, lest I fall into that vastness.
But no, naudlot na naman. Bukod sa di kami natuloy magmeet, e nagtrabaho na lang ako until 11.30 ng gabi. Arrrgghh. Ang saya saya diba? But somehow, I am glad hindi kami natuloy. I’d rather really go there by my own muna. Kelan kaya ako makakabalik don?
(O, kay ganda! View from Padi's Antips. picture hiram kay Niel. Salamat uli! ^_^)Labels: dark and twisty confessions |
posted by Tami @ 1:23 PM
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