I really miss blogging pero sa dami ba naman ng ginagawa, i can't even afford to have lunch anymore, much less make an entry! Ang dami dami ko pa naman naiisip isulat huhuhu ='( I've been really up and down recently, my latest mood being on the up side that's why I'm a little chipper today =) just wanna share this really wonderful song and realization I had yesterday.
----- excerpt of Dove (Moony) -----
Why can't he give her his love No more again Tears on her face, the dove She cries, she knows She won't be able to fly Away from him She'll look a red rose in the spring No she won't be able to sing Songs of love
I'll open up my heart I'll be loving you forever and ever I'll be part of you In the way I do Come into my life so I can sing
And if she questions the sun Why, why me The sun doesn't answer Oh God, can you help me The answer is easy my love You've built your own jail You've always been part of the sky So why d'you keep staying by his side Away from me
-------------------------------------
I got this song from my north star. pinadalhan niya kasi ako ng maraming maraming cool chill songs! and Dove was one of those songs. Adik talaga ako sa chill ngayon. astig!! hehe anyway, tinamaan talaga ako sa song na to. as the saying goes, we should not be attached to things and to people and that the only person we should love above all else is God. Kasi God is the only one you can really rely on, the only one who'll always be there and who'll never leave you. Everything else is transitory and only a manifestation of Him. And then yesterday, i was reading some articles from our organization (Ananda Marga) e-newsletter. The same thing was repeated, that we should not be attached to material things (i.e. belonging to the physical world, people included) and more importantly, we should not DESIRE or even ASK for anything material because that would lead to attachment, etc. the only thing we should DESIRE is the Lord, to be one with Him and to fulfill our duties to Him. (lalim na... knocks!) naguilty nga ako kasi kung ano ano ang hinihingi ko kay Lord na kung ano ano sabay hindi pala ok yun... and human that I am, nagfefeeling close uli ako kay God ngayong I'm going through tough times =( ang sama ko... well sana magcontinue na ito... i mean na hindi ako makalimot sa kanya kahit wala akong problema =)
people say, and I believe, that God gives everything on his own time, and by His grace. Meaning bahala na si batman. Kung ibigay ay ibibigay. Kung ayaw ibigay, wala tayong magagawa kahit humingi ng humingi or magpakabait or makipagbargain sa kanya. That's why some people fall into the trap of 'bakit kung sino pa yung mabait, sa kanya pa nangyari yun' etc... yung iba magagalit sa kanya and say He's forsaken them, yung iba tatanggapin and sasabihin may rason yun etc.
Well, may rason nga ang lahat ng bagay, minsan hindi lang natin din maintindihan. bad tip noh? pero wala tayong magagawa because everything is eventually done because of His will and grace. and we can't really do anything about it. double bad trip! hindi naman pwedeng mag mope around ka na lang for life kasi may buhay ka pa and you have to move on. pweh! joke lang hehe =p we just need to be patient, kasi mangyayari ang mangyayari, sa ayaw natin or gusto, at maintindihan man natin o hindi.
ganun talaga e... some say that we have free will and that we should not just leave our lives to destiny or to God. But what happens if we believe that we have complete control over our destiny is that if we act towards a desired outcome, and the outcome is not met, we'll just get frustrated to no end. kasi we did everything na nga tapos walang nangyari. I'm all into free will and all that but there's still a greater being who can override us and based on what, what else nga but his will and grace. so talaga, whatever we do, whatever the outcome is, dapat tatanggapin ng maayos. which is contrary to what i've been doing. Ako kasi, parang millions of years bago makatanggap e. and then i make an attempt to control my destiny pero wala pa ring nangyayari so nadedepress lang ako ng nadedepress. saka likas na impatient talaga akong tao kaya ako makulit at gusto ko lahat ng bagay ay may explanation kagad. hehe I've really built my own jail and gusto ko na makawala.
kaya kung dati ang prayer ko lagi after tough times ay "Dear God, please take care of everything etc etc... and sana ibigay mo ito sa akin when the time is right...." ngayon ang prayer ko na ay "Dear God, please take care of everything etc etc... and sana ibigay mo ito sa akin when the time is right..." hahaha hindi pala natuto! joke uli, ngayon e i just ask God to give me his grace, whatever his grace may be. but as for me, i'll just do with whatever i have been given and not whine about what i dont have. nakakalungkot lang yung thought talaga na everything is transitory, not permanent, and things will keep on changing... madali kasi ako maattach e. that's something i'm still working on. i've figured out a way naman para hindi malungkot e, and thats to get out of my self imposed jail and be part of the sky, ayon kay Moony. saka si God ang bestfriend ko ngayon, and i'm bringing my expectations down to zero. I just do what i have to do para ba everything that comes to me becomes a surprise and a blessing =) o diba, at least i have something to look forward to pa every moment!
hayun lang! bow ^_^ naparami ang quickie ko dami ko pa gagawin na work! waahhh! |
hehehehe i like the title of this ^_^