| Wednesday, October 24, 2007 |
| Broken Glory |
Busy Busy Busy, I can hardly breathe! Joke lang. I've really been busy these last couple of weeks, but that has hardly quenched my kadaldalan. But of the many things I want to talk about, which I realized is completely unimportant, I would just like to pause for a while to say something about what happened this very hour, five days ago.
The Glorietta bombing is so saddening, maybe because it hit an area so close to home. It's one of the places that I frequently go to and that I pass by almost everyday and it makes me think - it could have been me. At the precise moment the bomb went off, I am sure that I was laughing my head off over lunch with friends, safely tucked in a booth between the table, my friend and the wall.
I received a forwarded email today about a guy named Carlo Cruz, who lost his wife to the bombing. It was truly unfortunate because the couple had no real business in Glorietta that day. It just so happened that his wife was going to have a treatment at Makati Med, and they stopped by Glorietta to pass the time. According to Carlo, 'Since she had been fasting in preparation for her procedure, she wanted to move around and listen to some music while I grabbed a bite to eat.' 10 minutes before the explosion went off, the wife called Carlo so they can meet at the Glorietta 2 exit, and well... they never had the chance to.
'I have so many regrets. I should have met her sooner. I should have ran instead of a brisk walk. I should have not chose to park where I did. I should have braved the dust and went in the blast site. I should have...' We are all familiar with these should haves and what ifs. The fact is, all these are useless. These will never change what had already happened. But its also a way to keep us in touch with whomever we lost, even for a little while more before we are ready to let them go.
Its so easy to get mad, to point fingers and to speculate who was behind the bombing. Immediate action must be taken, yes, because whoever did this can strike again soon. But a more immediate matter is to stop and think about the victims of this tragedy, just to pray for them - for the casualties, for the injured, for their families. We can still prevent future attacks, but no one can prevent the pain they are feeling right now. I always say, if I cry a bit now for someone who is hurting, maybe God will see that and make them cry a little less.
This should teach us many things - that life is short, life is precious, do what you must for your loved ones before its too late, we can't be too lax. Let's take this as another wake up call to re-evaluate where we are in our lives.
I haven't been to Glorietta yet since that incident. The photos that have been circulating and what I saw in the news is enough. Its not that I don't feel safe going there, but because I am a coward and a denial-queen when it comes to these things. I don't want to see Glorietta in its broken glory. However, it should still be a happy place; so I'll go there later to desensitize myself and to pay respects to the victims.
And I commend the Ayala management for showing concern to the victims and right away offering to take care of hospital expenses. Some people, myself included, may question if its purely a business decision to maintain the mall's operation right after the tragedy. Probably it is, but it also teaches us another thing - that life should go on despite all of these setbacks.
Carlo Cruz's letter posted below.
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Good day everyone,
I wish I were writing under different circumstances. I would like to inform you that my wife Leslie Cruz was part of the casualties in the Glorietta 2 Mall bombing in Makati City, Philippines. She was supposed to have a minor out patient surgery at Makati Medical Center at 230pm.
I had taken a leave from work to accompany her there. We dropped off our daughter, Amber, at my parents place in QC to babysit at around 10am. We then proceeded to Makati and was there at 1230pm. Since she had been fasting in preparation for her procedure, she wanted to move ar ound and listen to some music while I grabbed a bite to eat. We parked at the basement of Park Square 2, and headed for the Glorietta 2 entrance. We parted at the top of the escalator, she turned right towards Filbar's while I went left towards the restaurants. That was the last time I would see her.
Around 120pm, she had called me so that we can meet at the Glorietta 2 exit just in time to make her appointment. As I made my way there from Glorietta 1 through the connecting hallways, and was about to turn the corner, I heard 2 deep thumps and the shock-wave from the blast hit me. At that moment my heart dropped as I knew that the origin of the blast came from the same place where we were supposed to meet. I tried getting to where my wife was, but the dust was too much and it was as if I was staring at a white wall.
I still tried to convince myself that she was able to make it out, and that after ringing her mobile without a response only meant that she dropped it in the confusion. After 6 hours of searching from Makati Med. to Ospital ng Makati, the blast site, and back again to MMC - with the help of all the people I could get hold of, that I was able to get confirmation in what the state of my wife was.
My Dad and Uncle signaled me in from the ER of MMC. My Uncle (who's a doctor) asked me to describe Leslie's appearance to another group of doctors. I saw in the eyes of one that the description made sense. Instead of confirming it to me, they huddled together, then brought me to a small examination room. It was only through a digital camera that I was able to confirm (and deny) that she was indeed gone.
I have so many regrets. I should have met her sooner. I should have ran instead of a brisk walk. I should have not chose to park where I did. I should have braved the dust and went in the blast site. I should have ...
Today's the 4th day. It is still terribly difficult to breathe, let alone wake up realizing that your source of strength, your best friend doesn't lie beside you on your bed. That my deepest worry is when Amber starts asking for her Mama.
I am glad that Amber's too young to understand the loss and pain. In time I would like to tell her the details of how her mother died, but more importantly I would like to raise her as how her mother lived - a loving person, strong willed, decisive, caring, and nurturing. She has always cared for her family and friends, and sacrfied her career for being a full time mom and home maker.
As with all couples we had our ups and downs - none of which I regret not going through. The sweet is never as sweet without the sour. For almost 4 years of marriage, we've finally hit our balance in life only to be taken away in an instant. I have no regrets about our marriage. She has loved me and Amber beyond her capacity. I will always love her.
It is my first time to write to egroup as I've lurked and watched emails being sent to and fro. All I want now is that for each of the couples here is to cherish each moment that we spend with our loved ones. Pretty simple to say, very easy to take for granted.
Thank you all for the prayers. I would still like to ask you to please include Leslie in them until her 40th day so that the path to God's kingdom is well lit and she is no longer in the dark.
Sincerely,
Carlo Cruz |
posted by Tami @ 1:30 PM
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