I turned 24 yesterday. And while there were no big parties, no gimiks, no cakes and ice creams, no flowers, with not even a candle to blow out, I still had a great day. I had a good dinner, spent time with family and friends, and was able to speak with people who mattered. There were no toasts, no whispered wishes from me, no exchange of senti words, no long letters nor tearful cards... Come to think of it, I didn't even get a birthday present from anyone or from myself (a real stand alone present, and not a Merry Christmas/Happy Birthday gift or a gift I chose with the giver), but I did revel in simple birthday greetings - some a week early and some a day late - that I would have kept in my phone's Inbox forever, only it ran out of memory so I had to erase some messages.

Oh I did get a few surprises after all, and they were all quite nice. =)

So what is 24? On the one hand, people older than me tell me 'What? You're ONLY 24?! And I thought... So that's why...' while shaking their heads and murmuring to themselves or looking at each other. On the other hand, people younger than me would say: 'What? You're ALREADY 24?! eww..' while shaking their heads and laughing heartily.

To me, it means: 'What? You're ONLY 24?! And I thought you were almost my age... So that's why you told me you might still be selfish, that's why you don't take too much time talking to your siblings about their day; that's why you forgot again to remind me of this expense to pay; that's why you watch DVD at work when you should have been doing something in advance.' It also means: 'What? You're ALREADY 24?! eww.. you're not getting any younger so quit horsing around, and would you please listen to me when I tell you to clean our room!' (--> Real life dialogue from my 16 year old sister to me.)

Being 24 presents to me both an excuse to be young and free, and also a firm incentive to mature... Quickly. It is both a challenge and a dreaded experience, much like how I'd feel if I had a big time interview coming up and I didn't wear my best outfit or didn't take care to blowdry my hair or apply even the tinsiest touch of makeup. Being 24 is also a privilege to rub elbows with those in power (i.e. stepmom, ates, bosses, etc.), as well as a bondage to obligations and responsibilities.

Needless to say, I am crawling out of my skin right now. True blue pessimist that I am, I am actually freaking out under my pretty calm, cute, albeit pimply exterior. Especially when you ride with your sister once or twice a week, pingponged from being her default BFF for the timebeing and official shock absorber for all her frustrations in the world. Also, eversince your stepmom gave you a deadline to when you need to be sure of what you want in your life and to start acting responsibly. (Answer: What is 25?)

Truth be told, I had wanted to be alone on my birthday. To stop and reflect; to let go of my past, think about my future and simply allow myself to enjoy the present. Have some quiet time. I haven't been able to spend quality time with myself lately.

That will be my belated birthday gift to myself. Or maybe I'll just get myself a really nice pair of shoes… hehehe =P

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TAMI! =D